Hasta la Vista Mercury

September 29, 2009

I am a Taurus. That’s my sign. This means that I’m stubborn, determined, and impatient. That’s all true, by the way. Freakishly true.

At work recently I learned a new astrological tidbit: Mercury has been in retrograde. This period of retrogradation (how often can you use that word?!) lasts from September 7 – September 29. Basically, it’s all of September and it makes everything into one big clusterfuck mess.

This time, Mercury’s retrograde began in Libra. I don’t really know what the hell that means except that it affects communication, relationships, harmony, and tastes. And then, on the 18th, Mercury moved to Virgo which apparently affects analysis and critical ability.

Oh. My. God. Let’s all pause and recognize how much Mercury has affected our lives this month. It’s creeeeeeeeeepy. It’s creepy AND annoying. AND NEEDS TO STOP.

Go here if you want to know more and/or need further convincing.

So, all month whenever someone tells me about something going wrong I’m like, don’t worry, MERCURY IS IN RETROGRAAAAAADE. And then I make them Google it. And then it all makes sense and we all mutually lament stupid Mercury.

All month, whenever something has gone wrong for me personally, I’ve been all FREAKING MERCURY, I HATE YOU. YOU RUIN EVERYYYYYTHIIIIIIING. And yes, I do usually say it out loud like that. I’m that person. Blame it on Mercury.

So, it is with great pleasure that I inform you that today is the last day that Mercury is in retrograde. The end. El fin. Peace out, retrograde or whatever.

I plan on making tomorrow rock my socks off. I plan on making October awesome just out of sheer spite for Mercury. Take that, Mercury. You can’t touch October!

Unfortunately, now I have nothing to blame for things being all screwy. More unfortunately, Mercury will retrograde again on December 26. So, live it up while you can.

– Sarah #2