October is not tangible.

October 21, 2009

Remember how I went on and on about how things would improve once Mercury was out of retrograde? Well, I think Mercury got really upset with me for rejoicing so fully in it’s movement. I think it decided to take post-retrograde revenge on me. Because, just when I was all the bright side is that things can only go up from here. BAM! 

Things went down. Then they went down more. Then even more. Then more. THEN EVEN MORE. I’d say maybe it’s done, but I don’t want to second guess the wrath of Mercury. Needless to say, Mercury was practically a cakewalk compared to the month of October. Let’s not talk about it.

My solution to my troubles? Well, first I ate a pile of vegetables covered in cheese because I love vegetables and I love cheese. Then I watched the Disney channel for an amount of time that I do not care to disclose. While I did that I colored in my Harry Potter coloring book which I’m sure you’re all jealous of because it came with temporary tattoos. Then I painted my nails back to the color the were when things in my life were more pleasant. I also finished off a bottle of Jack. Don’t get your panties in a twist, I didn’t open and finish the bottle. I just had enough for one big drink. It was delicious but then I was sad that the bottle was empty.

None of that really helped me feel better, so I ran. Far. Because running helps me to simultaneously think and not think. It takes the edge off of life. Because when you’re trying not to die from the lack of air, it’s hard to be concerned about anything else that’s going on in your life.

“Now, and for a long time, the best way Bridget knew to settle her mind was to run. Sometimes she felt that the meditative state of the long, quiet miles helped her to think. Sometimes she felt that the pure exhaustion helped her not to think.”
(Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 3, page 59)

So, I ran really, really far until the cold air gave me an asthma attack and I had no choice but to stop. I’m just going to keep running away from October and towards November like I’m freaking Forrest Gump (I do like boxes of chocolate). This way, even if November sucks too, I’ll be in awesome shape. But I hope the weather doesn’t get too cold because all my warm outfits are at home. It would be just like October to freeze me. If October were tangible, I’d punch it in its face. Damn you, October, you sneaky bastard!

– Sarah #2

P.S. Yes, I write down quotes from books and save them in a Word Document because I am a loser and I really like books and I really like well-written thoughts.


Hasta la Vista Mercury

September 29, 2009

I am a Taurus. That’s my sign. This means that I’m stubborn, determined, and impatient. That’s all true, by the way. Freakishly true.

At work recently I learned a new astrological tidbit: Mercury has been in retrograde. This period of retrogradation (how often can you use that word?!) lasts from September 7 – September 29. Basically, it’s all of September and it makes everything into one big clusterfuck mess.

This time, Mercury’s retrograde began in Libra. I don’t really know what the hell that means except that it affects communication, relationships, harmony, and tastes. And then, on the 18th, Mercury moved to Virgo which apparently affects analysis and critical ability.

Oh. My. God. Let’s all pause and recognize how much Mercury has affected our lives this month. It’s creeeeeeeeeepy. It’s creepy AND annoying. AND NEEDS TO STOP.

Go here if you want to know more and/or need further convincing.

So, all month whenever someone tells me about something going wrong I’m like, don’t worry, MERCURY IS IN RETROGRAAAAAADE. And then I make them Google it. And then it all makes sense and we all mutually lament stupid Mercury.

All month, whenever something has gone wrong for me personally, I’ve been all FREAKING MERCURY, I HATE YOU. YOU RUIN EVERYYYYYTHIIIIIIING. And yes, I do usually say it out loud like that. I’m that person. Blame it on Mercury.

So, it is with great pleasure that I inform you that today is the last day that Mercury is in retrograde. The end. El fin. Peace out, retrograde or whatever.

I plan on making tomorrow rock my socks off. I plan on making October awesome just out of sheer spite for Mercury. Take that, Mercury. You can’t touch October!

Unfortunately, now I have nothing to blame for things being all screwy. More unfortunately, Mercury will retrograde again on December 26. So, live it up while you can.

– Sarah #2