In Response to “Shoeless Sarah”

April 21, 2010

(via Google Buzz)

Neal Cooper – I know you’re the grammar whiz here, but wouldn’t the correct wording have been: "Hell didn’t swallow me up and God didn’t SMITE me"?

Just curious

And hopeful that I caught you in a grammatical error 🙂

Sarah Weddle – Well, smote is the past tense and a past participle of smite. But, basically no one ever uses it. So, I think grammatically it could be either. I debated with it for half of LOST.

I took a poll in my office and no one can figure it out.

Anne suggested, "God did not smoteth me."

So the answer is, I have no idea. But I really wanted to say smote.

Neal Cooper – Hmph. Sounds weak to me.

Sarah Weddle – Haha. It is pretty weak.

Alexandra Gaustad – 5 bucks says Neal doesn’t know what a participle is. 😀

Neal Cooper – A participle is a little bit of something – you grind up a piece of metal into a whole bunch of participles, right? 😛

Sarah Weddle – Thank you for writing my next blog post via your comments.

Participle: In linguistics, a participle can be a verb or an adjective (participial phrase). It is a derivative of a non-finite verb, which can be used in compound tenses or voices, or as a modifier. Participles often share properties with other parts of speech, in particular adjectives  and nouns. (from Wikipedia)

(Happy Birthday, Alex!)

– Sarah #2

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It’s National Nerd Day!

March 5, 2010

Today is National Grammar Day! It’s a day for me to celebrate the fact that, as Neal pointed out, I’m a big dork.

And you know what? He’s right! On Wednesday I found out about the holiday (holiday!) on Twitter. Immediately I got excited. And then I saw a contest where you could submit a limerick about grammar and win a grammar book.

I then spent all day, every spare moment, trying to craft a winning limerick. If that doesn’t make me a dork, nothing does. And the sad part? It was fun – even when Sarah #1 judged me for writing a limerick expressing my fondness for the Oxford Comma.

Today? I had a lot of work to do. But in between all the work? I forced the intern, Jackie, to take grammar quizzes with me online. I think I scared her with my enthusiasm. And, following the quizzes she was afraid to talk to me on gchat in case she spelled something wrong. But we learned the difference between loath/loathe and that’s what really matters.

It was a day of learning and embracing the fact that my heart beats a little faster when I spend TWENTY minutes reading about commas!

So, on this day of grammar, I share with you my favorite punctuation mark – aside from the Oxford Comma (my one true love):

interrobang

Hello, Interrobang. Seriously, what’s not to love. You can exclaim AND question at the same time. HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS?! (See? See how I could have used the interrobang there if it were an option on my keyboard?)

I wish I could walk around with this on t-shirt. It’s amazing. I want to tattoo it on my body and flash it at relevant times. First there was Superman, then there was INTERROBANG! Plus, it’s fun to say.

There’s really no good way to conclude this other to say that I’m pretty sure that even my parents are judging me right now. 

Because when you say, “What’s my antidrug? GRAMMAR!” You sound so lame that you may as well go smoke a joint to win back some credibility.

If it’s any consolation I’m drinking wine from a box. That’s the best I can do.

– Sarah #2


I’m Waging a War.

November 22, 2009

It’s a goal of mine to make other people think more about their grammar (because I am, admittedly, a huge nerd). I’m full of passion, including grammatical passion – I even yell at people on the TV who speak incorrectly.  It’s like an offense against my language. I won’t stand for it. But, I’ll help you learn.

Once, I dated a guy (we broke up), and 3 years later he told me he still corrects people who don’t use adverbs correctly… because of me! I’m just one girl, trying to change the world, one horrible grammatical error at a time. Join me, Sarah #1 has.

Sarah: I had a dream last night that you were telling me that you liked a word I used in a blog post and I woke up thinking, "great – now I’m dreaming about your love of grammar"

Me: wow, that really made my day

Sarah: oh man, of course it does. grammar nerd. I say that with love

She doesn’t say that with love, but at least she said it with correct grammar.

– Sarah #2


Boys created English. For that, I hate them.

September 25, 2009

I had never really heard of the word “husbandry” until I came across it in a grammar blog. In talking about the origin of the word, the author explains that the word “husband” originally had nothing to do with being married, it simply meant head of household.

Three hundred years later, the word began to mean “married man” (because most male heads of the household were married). Around that same time, the word husbandry appeared.

Here’s where I start to hate the English language. At the same time that husband took on this new definition, the word “husbandry” entered the vernacular, a noun meaning the management of the household and its resources.

Example: Sarah is in charge of the husbandry and feeding the dog.

HOWEVER, that probably wouldn’t fly considering I’m not a dude and therefore can’t manage a household and its resources. I’m a girl. I can’t do important things like that. All I can do is make babies and pies.

I’m not sure why I’m so mad. I have nothing against babies or pies. I don’t particularly want to manage a household, but I don’t want my mother flipping language to tell me what I can and cannot do.

I’ve come up with a new word. It’s a noun: womoaning. As in, I’m sick of all his womoaning. He cries like a girl from dealing with all the husbandry. Then I always end up cooking dinner and balancing the checkbook and mowing the loan. He’s such a great husband. And, by husband, I mean ass.

Eventually husband will be defined as ass and to cry like a man will replace to cry like a woman.

Don’t even get me started about the word “history.” Screw his story. I bet hers is better and more accurate. Because boys are always wrong and never remember anything and they totally make stuff up. Except my dad. He’s exempt. And Sarah’s dad. And Bruce – for now.

Also, as a side note, the word husbandry has since evolved to mean farming and agriculture work. That bothers me less. Maybe because I have no interest in raising pigs in which to eat. Gross.

Sometimes I can’t even believe how much of a nerd I am. I even astound myself.

P.S. I apologize to all my future husbands. I’m talking to you, Jonathan Jackson. I promise not to take my grammar rage out on any of you.

– Sarah #2


Tweets Between the Sarahs

September 17, 2009

Sarah #1: Operation write my précis is on.

Sarah #2: @sarah_weaver Omg, I hate writing précis…how do you make that plural? precises?

Sarah #1: You would wonder that. RT @sarahweddle: @sarah_weaver Omg, I hate writing précis…how do you make that plural? precises?

 

It’s really hard not to love us.


Ho, Ho, Ho.

September 12, 2009

Today I am going to combine two of my passions: correct spelling and ghetto slang. We all know that I love to corrupt people with .

Therefore, this post was brought to you by $arah #2.

, I am a nerd. I think that grammar and punctuation and the like is interesting and fun. I’m generally a good speller, but sometimes there are words that I don’t know and am forced to look up. In my last post I briefly mentioned "Pimps and Hos" and wanted to make sure I was spelling "ho" correctly. You know, because it’s important to protect the integrity of all the hos out there through proper spelling, if nothing else. Ha.

Anyway, my search started by asking Sarah #1 for her thoughts:

me: how do you spell ho? hoe?
Sarah: ho ho ho. but a whore hoe I think is hoe
me: hm. obviously i’m writing a blog post
Sarah: hahahaha
me: i can’t find a definitive answer
Sarah: is it a real word?
me: i don’t think it’s in the dictionary

So, neither of us knew, which, quite frankly, I think might be a good thing. Especially for Sarah since she’s in seminary and I clearly just live to make her think about things that are the complete opposite of what she normally spends all day thinking about like service and Jesus and praying. I love to interrupt all that with hoes. Hos? (I still don’t know…yet).

Anyway, then I looked it up on www.dictionary.com to find out if it is actually in the dictionary or not. No dice. It is not listed as a word under "ho" or "hoe."

So, I turned to another trusty resource and frequent past time: www.urbandictionary.com. Urban Dictionary is a nice little place where people can contribute their definitions for fabulous slang words that I’ll refrain from sharing (for now).

First I looked up "Ho" :

1. A word Santa Clause says three times when he sees your wife, mother and sister together in the same room. – Hahaha, oh Santa.
2. A whore. A woman who uses her body, or gives the impression that her mark can be intimate with her, for material gain or to boost her own ego.

Both of these definitions reflect the meaning of ho that I am seeking. So, apparently h-o is valid.

Next, I looked up "Hoe" :

1. A skank
2. A woman that is too loose in the booty.
  – This is by far the best thing I’ve ever heard of as a definition for hoe. 
3. Woman or man that fuck anything with two legs. – They didn’t even use the correct conjugation of fuck. Sigh.
4. A promiscuous person
5. A misspelling of "ho" (short for "whore,") confused with a tool for gardening.

I support definition 5. Hoe is, in fact, just a garden tool. Problem solved.Though, in the plural form, "ho" does become "hoes."

Now, I leave with some of the lyrics to one of my favorite songs, "You’s a Ho" by Ludacris.

Why do you think you take a ho to a hotel?
Ho tell everybody, even the mayor
Reach up in tha sky for tha ho-zone laya
Come on playa, once a ho always
And hos never close, they open like hallways
An heres a ho cake for you whole ho crew
an everybody wants some cuz hoes gotta eat too

Cant turn a ho into a housewife
Hos dont act right
Theres hos on a mission, an hoes on a crackpipe
Hey ho how ya doin, where ya been?
Prolly doin ho stuff cuz there you ho again.

Youza Hoooooo (Ho)!!!

Ha. This is the best thing I’ve ever written. You can all sleep safely knowing the proper spelling of ho. You’re welcome.

$arah #2


Nerd Alert!

August 9, 2009

Everyone who knows me is well aware that I’m a nerd. I’m a nerd for a lot of reasons, but the biggest reason might be because I like good grammar and punctuation. Everyone expects this oddity of me and everyone makes fun of me for it. Examples:

Me: the person who suggested using “he” as a gender neutral singular pronoun was a feminist. and yes, i do read about grammar for fun
Sarah: really? that’s so crazy. and … really? grammar? you were judging me for L.A. Candy

Me: this is why i get mad when people say their harry potter fans and don’t read the books. b/c they really don’t know anything about the story
Laura: you are fired up! you had a grammar error

Me: how come it’s distrustful but it’s untrustworthy? And why do I care enough about things like this to go and google it….
Sarah: You would.

I can’t help it. I’m a nerd. Whatever. The English Language is cool. You can make fun of me all you want, but I’ll just keep making fun of you for not using the subjunctive correctly. WHO’S THE WINNER NOW?! (I know, still not me).

Anyway, this is the first of what will probably be many posts on my love for grammar and punctuation. I begin today with the Oxford comma.

According to Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss, when you learn about commas, you first learn that they are for dividing items in a list; however, they are not required before the “and” on the end: I love cats, dogs and bunnies.

TRAVESTY! Do you not feel the pause that belongs in that sentence? The room for a comma that would help that sentence make just a little more sense? I do. Hello Oxford comma (also known as the serial comma).

The standard usage in America is to leave the comma in: “The flag is red, white, and blue.” Unfortunately, I notice that more and more people are leaving this comma behind and it’s just not cool. No, it’s not actually incorrect to leave it in or to take it out. It’s a choice.

But, let’s be honest, if you leave it out, you’re making the wrong choice. I’m on team Oxford comma. Seriously. And my team always wins.

I can feel you all judging me for even knowing what an Oxford comma is. Everyone needs a hobby. Grammar: my anti-drug. Just wait, maybe it will catch on.

And I can’t be that uncool. The band “Vampire Weekend” sings about the Oxford comma: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_i1xk07o4g

So stick that in your dictionary and read it.

– Sarah #2