Treadmill Superstar

June 7, 2010

Well, it happened. I signed up for another race: The Philadelphia Rock ‘n’ Roll Half Marathon in September (formally known as the Philly Distance Run).

Given that I’m adverse to heat (read: I sweat like a man), I will probably train for this race predominantly on the treadmill at the good old YMCA.

I have a love/hate relationship with the treadmill. Actually, I’d love it if the YMCA put on better TV channels. Watching the news and/or Sports Center does not motivate me. At all. Even the treadmills with their own televisions don’t play more than about 5 basic channels. Why this is, I’m not sure, but it annoys me to no end.

So, without the TV I’m forced to listen to my iPod for the duration of my run. For whatever reason, the music that is most motivating for me is music performed by female singers, so I can sing along in my head, pretend I’m famous, and therefore distract myself from the pain of putting one foot in front of the other.

What? Everyone’s got a distraction strategy, mine just happens to be pretending I’m a famous singer. A girl’s gotta dream.

However, sometimes I get really into the songs I’m listening to – like forget where I am and what I’m doing.

Sometimes there are dance moves.

And sometimes I start singing out loud.

Whoops. Nothing breaks the delusion that you’re somebody important than having everyone turn and look at you busting out a song on the treadmill, dripping in sweat, and clearly oblivious to the surroundings.

Maybe by the time I run this half marathon I’ll not only be in running shape, I’ll also have whipped my vocals into shape.

Until then, if you happen to hear me singing along to Glee songs or dancing to Britney whilst getting my run on, please ignore me.

Or, enjoy the show. I certainly do.

– Sarah #2


Gossip Round Up – Summer’s Here

May 7, 2010

Beyonce and Jay-Z: Word on the street is that the music moguls are moving just outside Philly. Apparently, they’re looking at a multimillion-dollar manse situated on 210 secluded acres in Schuylkill County. Apparently it’s just a rumor, but let’s be honest, I hope it’s real. I am nothing if not a celebrity stalker. And while I leave Bradley Cooper, M Night Shyamalan, Wanda Sykes, and Tina Fey alone while they’re in town, I probably wouldn’t leave Beyonce alone. I’d probably go to her house and stand outside the gate doing the Single Ladies dance and rapping Big Pimpin’. There’s your warning Beyonce. Hope to see you soon. I’ll be the white girl you kick off your lawn.

David Boreanaz: Did you ever watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Angel? Do you watch Bones? Do you love David Boreanaz? I do. He’s smoking hot and a great actor. And, you know what that means? He’s a cheater. Yup, rumors have long plagued this guy, calling him out for cheating on his equally smoking hot wife (with whom he has 2 kids, including a baby). He admitted that these rumors are true. Of course, he’s sorry and trying to salvage his marriage. Blah blah blah. We’ve heard it all before from every other philandering man in Hollywood which, at this rate, is all of them. You’ve lost me as a fan, David. And I know your father, former longtime Philadelphia weatherman Dave Roberts (ABC6) is probably shaking his head with disbelief. You’re a disappointment, mostly because you’re just like the rest of them. Sigh.

Britney Spears: It’s a good week when there’s something to share about Ms. Spears. I won’t mention what the National Enquirer is reporting about her because there are happier things to talk about. For example, the fact that Britney recorded a demo of Telephone long before Lady Gaga did. I love that. Why? Because Gaga thinks she’s the shit and now her song is just a Britney cast off – the queen of pop’s leftovers. Furthermore, Rolling Stone published an article claiming that Britney’s version of the song is not only better, but also declaring Britney’s Blackout album as the most influential pop album in the past five years. Coming from Rolling Stone, that’s a major statement – and definitely one I can get on board with. So, move over Gaga. Your crazy hairdos, outlandish outfits, and general weirdness have got nothing on Britney. 

It’s been a good week for gossip. Don’t you agree?

– Sarah #2


Friday Gossip Round Up

April 16, 2010

I forgot last week. Sue me.

Now, onto the gossip.

Glee: Glee returned this week. And you know what? It was AWESOME. I don’t care if you don’t like singing. I don’t care if you don’t like campy, soap opera-esque shows that make fun of themselves. I don’t care. Because I like them. And, I’m fairly certain this show was created solely for me, to provide material for me to sing in my car. So suck it.

Shannen Doherty: Shannen is releasing a book that I assume will be riddled with gossip circa 1990 – the best kind. In case you’re not as “culturally” aware as me, Shannen starred on 90210 for a long time and then left amid gossip about how she’s a biotch. Subsequently, she was on Charmed for a long time and then left amid gossip about how she’s a biotch. I love a good biotch and I love backstage gossip from shows long gone. Don’t worry, I’ll take it upon myself to read it and recap it for you.

Whitney Houston: Once upon a time my sister and I owned a Whitney Houston Barbie. Our Whitney has mismatched shoes, wore slutty outfits, and never brushed her hair. I believe we directly foreshadowed Whitney’s fate. Word on the street is that Whitney’s concert performances haven’t been so great. Whitney, you should have hired Kevin Costner to protect you from the coke. Didn’t consider that, did you? And, maybe you’ll always love me, but I’m over you. Sorry; it’s time to retire.

Britney Spears: I love her. I don’t care if she’s a horrible role model. But, for once, she’s done something awesome. She’s released un-airbrushed photos of herself to be compared with the airbrushed photos. She’s hot no matter what, but it’s nice to know she’s shapely and has blemishes and cellulite. Now, not only do I think she’s a normal person because she’s crazy, I also think she’s normal because she’s physically flawed. Additionally, I still think we can be friends. Either way, good for her, putting the truth out there. Someone should discuss that with Mariah Carey.

– Sarah #2