Stop Being A Girl

All my life I’ve considered myself an athlete. Maybe not the best athlete, but an athlete nonetheless.

I’ve always liked (playing) sports of all kinds. Working out to me is fun, but it’s always something I take seriously.

You see, I’m a perfectionist. I have a touch of OCD. If I do something, I’m doing it well. I’m no half asser – which is good because having only half an ass would make it hard to find pants. Consider that.

So, when I workout, I’m not just having fun, I’m intense. Or, I’m trying to be intense.

I’ve got one goal in mind – working out. I don’t want to chit chat. I don’t want to dilly dally. I don’t want to be idle. And, I don’t care about the copious amounts that I sweat. And boooy do I sweat.

Example: I took my friend from work, Jackie, to the gym with me this week. I ran while she did various other things. Upon the completion of my workout I went over to her. Her first words?

“Wow, you weren’t kidding. You do sweat a lot.”

Yeah, that’s right. I sweat a ton. A TON. And I’m proud of it. That sweat is the product of hard work (and possibly massive pores).

So, as a hard worker, you know what I hate?

Girls who wear their hair down whilst working out. Welcome to the first sign that you’re not even going to attempt to accomplish anything. The only person I forgive for this indiscretion is my mother. She’s exempt. After years of wearing her hair down, I think a ponytail on her is so weird. However, everyone else?


So not exempt.

Stop trying to be pretty. You want to be pretty? Then work hard. Put your hair up in a ponytail and sweat your ass off instead of sashaying around, strategically flipping your hair.

Not an athlete? Who cares? Fake it until you make it; dress the part. Girls who want to be in shape? Girls who want to have hard butts and toned arms? They can’t do it without a ponytail holder.


Real girls sweat. Real girls work hard. No one can work hard with their hair down. Seriously.

And while we’re at it. Stop wearing make up at the gym too. I can’t forgive you. I just can’t.

The only thing people will judge you for at the gym is:

  • an inappropriate use of spandex
  • a lack of sports bra
  • a shirt that lets too much of your stomach come out to play

So stop half assing it. Because that’s another thing people will judge you for at the gym. Having half an ass. That is so awkward.

– Sarah #2


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