Dear Tori

Hey folks – it’s been far too long.  But in fairness to me – I’ve been busy.  This pesky little thing called ‘school’ kept me away from sharing my blog musings over here.  Anyway – school is over, I have my master’s and Tori and Dean is back – seriously, does life get any better than that?

I didn’t think so.

I figured it was high time for another rendition of ‘Dear Tori’ – here goes …

Dear Tori,

I’m not sure how I feel about the new season of Tori & Dean.  There is a LOT of drama between you and Dean.  And I don’t like it.  First of all, I’m a big fan of covenant.  As in – you both make it, you both stick to it.  Second of all, I like you two as a couple.  You are adorable.  You have beautiful children.  I love your business ventures – oversized costume jewelry?  YUM.  Your ‘soulmate’ language is a little cheesy for my liking, but you are actors and are used to being dramatic for effect.

Where was I?  Oh, right – third of all.  Third of all, Dean all but has your name tattooed on 3/4 of his right arm.  You need to make this work – otherwise – well – that’s a big tattoo to have an ex-wife’s name on (or maybe it’s not a name, you’re just a fish or something – regardless, still huge).

I know you want to show the ‘real you’ on television – and I appreciate that.  I also appreciate the fact that you have invited me into your home (on television, of course).  It’s nice to know that celebrities argue in relationships just like anyone.  But I have to say, it is a little uncomfortable to be THAT in your business when you are having an argument – er, huge blowout fight – with your husband.  I wouldn’t want my own mother to know about petty arguments my husband and I have had, let alone – well – everyone who gets the Oxygen channel.

Speaking of your mother – I love how you nonchalantly threw in, “Liam, did you have fun at school with Grandma today?” without making a big deal about it.  The way you have changed your relationship with your mother and the press is how you should approach your relationship with Dean.  Be honest, yes – but don’t air your dirty laundry on national TV.  I want to respect you more than that.

I cannot wait for your third book, uncharted terriTORI to come out.  I loved your first book (sTORItelling), but was less a fan of the second (Mommywood).  To me, Mommywood just seemed a little rushed, not necessarily reflecting on lessons learned through motherhood, rather sharing horror stories from raising a family combined with raising a family in the spotlight.  There were also one too many cracks at your mother.  I’m hoping uncharted terriTORI has more reflections on some of the things that you’ve learned.

Regardless, uncharted terriTORI comes out on June 15th, 15 days after I start a summer internship at a Level I trauma center in downtown Atlanta.  I will most likely need your sweet sense of humor at that point.  So, in advance – thank you for being an outlet while I’m going through an intense program.

Speaking of Atlanta – you SO should have done an appearance while you were here visiting Patsy.  But I understand the need to just get away from work.  So I will just leave this subject alone by apologizing for Atlanta traffic and asking where that adorable antique shop was that you and Patsy went to.  I would like the go there.  Badly.

Keep up the good work, ignore the naysayers and listen to your gut.  You have done amazing things in your life and I know the best is yet to come.

Sarah #1

p.s. Please take on less projects – you look overworked and tired.  I know that no one wants to hear that, but it’s true.  Don’t overwork yourself.  No amount of money is worth that.


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