Once upon a time, I said how I really wanted to be able to pee standing up. Bruce, Sarah #1’s husband, then informed me that he really wanted a NuttyBuddy®. I want to pee like a man, he wants balls of steel. You should see our Christmas lists.
If you follow that link, you will see that the NuttyBuddy was featured on Sports Science, wherein crazy men (because only men would be this stupid) allow balls to be thrown (more like launched) directly at their… balls. The irony is amazing. It’s an epic battle of balls versus balls. WHO WILL WIN?! Oh, the suspense.
I wish I were kidding when I say that I have voluntarily watched this video multiple times, without reason. Sometimes I will wake up and think Huh, I should watch that crazy jockstrap video. Because that’s clearly a good way to start the day. I have no one to blame but myself – and Bruce. (I mostly blame Bruce).
I’ll go ahead and spoil the video for you by saying that the NuttyBuddy is really a piece of engineering genius that all men (and probably women who care about sperm count) should bow down and praise. It’s like what good lip gloss does for a girl.
But, there’s no denying that there’s little funnier than witnessing a good kick in the balls, as evidenced here. I can’t not laugh. It’s horrible, I know.
But the moral of that video is that you men never know when your balls will need protection. UNAGI! A pitching machine perfectly aimed at your balls could be waiting around the corner.
So, be prepared like a good boy scout and purchase a NuttyBuddy. This post is a PSA from me, to your balls. You can call me the ball master. Or the ball girl.
And yes, that’s what he said.