I have had weird heart pains for about 3 weeks. It’s all weird and full of pain and DEADLY. That’s right, I’m dying of some sort of acute heart-attack-stroke-embolism-crazy disease and NO ONE BELIEVES ME.
People keep telling me it’s stress (maybe). Or heartache (maybe). Or other freaking lame responses that I refuse to accept because I’m in tune with my body and I know that this is the BEGINNING OF THE END. DEATH!
The creepy, bony, robed hand of death is upon me. It’s probably why I’m cold all the time. And why I’m so pale.
This is really just to say that if I die, I’m coming back to haunt all of you. That’s how I’ve reconciled myself with my death. It’s going to be so awesome.
Also, I told you so.