It’s not any secret that I have an affinity for infomercials and the amazing crap that they peddle. For instance, I spent a long time debating whether or not to get a Snuggie because HELLO, you can wear it to sporting events and I go to sooo many of those that I need one and besides that I’m always cold. And have you seen the infomercial for those little green bags that keep your vegetables fresh like a thousand years longer than a natural bag?! I HAVE TO HAVE THOSE. A thousand years is a long time!
I love infomercials. They make the weirdest stuff seem instantly appealing and the next thing you know you just wasted an hour with Billy Mays (RIP) learning about OxiClean because Laura called and told you to turn on that channel.
It’s not just me and Laura though. No, just a few weeks ago I got a text from Sarah #1. She was in Target and sent me a picture of EZ Combs asking me if she should buy them.
My response involved a LOT of laughter and then I told her not to get them. I know, right, you’re astonished. But, I felt like we could have invented them ourselves and I didn’t want Sarah to give money to someone who basically stole our invention before our brains had the time to think of it.
But, then I was reading the internet today (yes, the entire internet) and I came across this little beauty: http://www.wbaltv.com/video/20700023/index.html
This is a female urination device. Seriously. And, it’s pink. “GoGirl! Don’t Take Life Sitting Down.” What an awesome slogan! Awesome idea. All around awesome.
Suddenly, after viewing this video, I began to understand why Sarah wanted the hair clips. Because she needs to be able to clip her hair up in 1, 2, 3 and because I need to pee standing up. I need that ability. I know it will come in handy. On the side of the road, when the line for the girl’s room is too long, or just for fun. This is the gift of female empowerment via my bladder. Peeing standing up, not just for the boys anymore.
No, don’t ask me how you clean this or where you store it directly after use. I prefer to just marvel in its wonder without question. I can only hope that one day Sarah #1 and I will be rich by the invention of some perfectly impractical but ohmygodihavetohaveit incredibly awesome piece of crap.
– Sarah #2