Ho, Ho, Ho.

Today I am going to combine two of my passions: correct spelling and ghetto slang. We all know that I love to corrupt people with .

Therefore, this post was brought to you by $arah #2.

, I am a nerd. I think that grammar and punctuation and the like is interesting and fun. I’m generally a good speller, but sometimes there are words that I don’t know and am forced to look up. In my last post I briefly mentioned "Pimps and Hos" and wanted to make sure I was spelling "ho" correctly. You know, because it’s important to protect the integrity of all the hos out there through proper spelling, if nothing else. Ha.

Anyway, my search started by asking Sarah #1 for her thoughts:

me: how do you spell ho? hoe?
Sarah: ho ho ho. but a whore hoe I think is hoe
me: hm. obviously i’m writing a blog post
Sarah: hahahaha
me: i can’t find a definitive answer
Sarah: is it a real word?
me: i don’t think it’s in the dictionary

So, neither of us knew, which, quite frankly, I think might be a good thing. Especially for Sarah since she’s in seminary and I clearly just live to make her think about things that are the complete opposite of what she normally spends all day thinking about like service and Jesus and praying. I love to interrupt all that with hoes. Hos? (I still don’t know…yet).

Anyway, then I looked it up on www.dictionary.com to find out if it is actually in the dictionary or not. No dice. It is not listed as a word under "ho" or "hoe."

So, I turned to another trusty resource and frequent past time: www.urbandictionary.com. Urban Dictionary is a nice little place where people can contribute their definitions for fabulous slang words that I’ll refrain from sharing (for now).

First I looked up "Ho" :

1. A word Santa Clause says three times when he sees your wife, mother and sister together in the same room. – Hahaha, oh Santa.
2. A whore. A woman who uses her body, or gives the impression that her mark can be intimate with her, for material gain or to boost her own ego.

Both of these definitions reflect the meaning of ho that I am seeking. So, apparently h-o is valid.

Next, I looked up "Hoe" :

1. A skank
2. A woman that is too loose in the booty.
  – This is by far the best thing I’ve ever heard of as a definition for hoe. 
3. Woman or man that fuck anything with two legs. – They didn’t even use the correct conjugation of fuck. Sigh.
4. A promiscuous person
5. A misspelling of "ho" (short for "whore,") confused with a tool for gardening.

I support definition 5. Hoe is, in fact, just a garden tool. Problem solved.Though, in the plural form, "ho" does become "hoes."

Now, I leave with some of the lyrics to one of my favorite songs, "You’s a Ho" by Ludacris.

Why do you think you take a ho to a hotel?
Ho tell everybody, even the mayor
Reach up in tha sky for tha ho-zone laya
Come on playa, once a ho always
And hos never close, they open like hallways
An heres a ho cake for you whole ho crew
an everybody wants some cuz hoes gotta eat too

Cant turn a ho into a housewife
Hos dont act right
Theres hos on a mission, an hoes on a crackpipe
Hey ho how ya doin, where ya been?
Prolly doin ho stuff cuz there you ho again.

Youza Hoooooo (Ho)!!!

Ha. This is the best thing I’ve ever written. You can all sleep safely knowing the proper spelling of ho. You’re welcome.

$arah #2


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